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 My story's prologue

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PostSubject: My story's prologue    Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:25 pm

What do you gets think oboist the Intro?








Prologue

26 years ago the government secretly made genetically engineered superhumans for war uses. 100of us were made in the experiment. They conducted painful, cruel tests on us, to test our limits, with in six months, half of us died. Then we broke out, and spread world wide. Little had we known that we had trackers on us. They found us in weeks, and had to punish us. They spent the next year constructing an area called The VIO. They gave us six months to get use to The VIO. The VIO was ten miles wide and had an electric force field surrounding it. Ever year Xantana's best bounty hunters, warriors, and fighters come in and try to kill us. 20 of us are left.
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PostSubject: Re: My story's prologue    Sun Oct 07, 2012 2:18 pm

umm that is alright.. but perhaps fluff it out a little bit more..
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PostSubject: Re: My story's prologue    Sun Oct 07, 2012 7:28 pm

Id say add a bit about who 'we' are, and how they escaped, about their time in the lab, ect;
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PostSubject: Re: My story's prologue    Sun Oct 07, 2012 7:37 pm

Oh that's makes sense.
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PostSubject: Re: My story's prologue    Sun Oct 07, 2012 8:14 pm

and why such a sever punishment was chosen... if they were created for war i doubt they would dump millions of dollars away because of one escape.
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